What Emotional Numbness: Why It’s a Poor Strategy for Life
Written by Ryan Greenwood
Emotional Numbness: Why It’s a Poor Strategy for Life
When we turn off our emotions, we lose more than we realize.
Emotional numbness, while seemingly protective, is not a sustainable way to live. Numbing might feel like a defense against overwhelming emotions, but it comes at the cost of cutting off vital parts of ourselves. Let's explore how emotional numbness develops and why reengaging with your emotions is so important for a fulfilling life.
1. Emotional Numbness as a Safety Mechanism
Emotional numbness often emerges when we learn, consciously or unconsciously, that our emotions are dangerous. This might happen for two reasons:
Emotions Feel Too Big to Handle: If you've ever experienced overwhelming grief, anger, or anxiety, your body may have shut down emotionally to protect you from further pain. It’s a survival instinct—your mind essentially says, this is too much and starts to dampen all emotional responses.
Emotions Are Seen as Unacceptable to Others: Sometimes, we become emotionally numb because those around us taught us that our feelings are “too much” or “inappropriate.” Whether from parents, peers, or partners, when we hear repeatedly that our emotions are wrong or inconvenient, we learn to suppress them to avoid rejection.
In both cases, emotional numbness becomes a coping mechanism to avoid pain. But in the long run, this strategy backfires.
2. You Can’t Selectively Numb Emotions
One of the fundamental truths about emotional numbness is that it’s not selective. While you might wish to suppress only the negative emotions—like sadness, fear, or anger—you also end up numbing positive emotions like joy, love, and excitement.
Numbing doesn’t discriminate. When you shut down emotionally, you block access to both ends of the emotional spectrum. This leads to a flattened, dulled experience of life, where nothing feels fully good or bad. You might feel "safe" from pain, but you're also cut off from connection, passion, and joy.
3. Reengaging with Your Emotions Takes Time and Courage
If you’ve been emotionally numb for a long time, reconnecting with your emotions can feel scary. It’s not an overnight process. Emotional reengagement requires safety—both in your relationships and within yourself.
To start feeling again, you need to create environments where it’s safe to express and experience your emotions without judgment. This could be through trusted relationships, therapy, or self-reflection.
The longer you’ve been numb, the harder it can be to reengage. This is because emotional numbness becomes a habit, a way of living. It takes courage to face the discomfort of emotions you've been avoiding, but the reward is immense: a more vibrant, authentic, and connected life.
Final Thoughts
While emotional numbness may protect you in the short term, it is not a sustainable way to live a fulfilling life. Over time, it cuts you off from both painful and joyful emotions, leaving you feeling disconnected. Reengaging with your emotions is a brave, gradual process that leads to deeper connections with yourself and others.
If you’re struggling with emotional numbness and want to learn how to feel again, Hello Calm can provide the support you need. Our therapists offer a safe space to explore and reengage with your emotions, helping you reconnect with the full range of human experience. Schedule an appointment today to start your journey toward emotional wellness.
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Ryan Greenwood, CPC, MA
Ryan is the founder and clinical director of Hello Calm. He graduated at the top of his class from Adams State University with a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, is a member of the American Counseling Association, and has a great passion for working with people to grow in the middle of their hardest moments. Ryan is a Henderson local, greatly loves the Golden Knights, traveling, and being outdoors. He and his wife have been happily married for 9 years.
