How to Address Codependency in Relationships
Written by Ryan Greenwood
How to Address Codependency in Relationships
Because your happiness shouldn’t depend on their mood
Codependency in relationships can feel like being stuck on an emotional rollercoaster controlled by someone else. It often stems from blurred boundaries, emotional entanglement, and a misplaced sense of responsibility for someone else’s well-being. The good news? You can break free from these patterns and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Here’s how:
1. Understand That Your Happiness Isn’t Dependent on Others
In codependent relationships, happiness often hinges on someone else’s mood or behavior. However, this is an exhausting and impossible task—you can’t control how someone else feels, nor is it your job to fix them.
What to focus on instead:
Recognize that your emotions and happiness are yours to own.
Let go of the need to ensure others are happy, healthy, or stable. It’s not your responsibility, and carrying that burden only depletes you.
Practice affirmations like, “My feelings are valid, and I’m allowed to prioritize my well-being.”
2. Set Healthy Boundaries
Codependent relationships are often plagued by a lack of boundaries. Lines blur when it comes to responsibilities, leaving everyone confused and, eventually, disconnected.
How to set proper boundaries:
Clearly define what’s yours to handle and what’s not. This could include emotional support, responsibilities, or problem-solving.
Learn to say no without guilt. Saying yes to everything often leads to resentment and burnout.
Remember that boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges that foster healthier communication and mutual respect.
3. Practice Regulating Your Own Emotions
Codependency often thrives when we struggle to manage our emotions independently. Relying on others to stabilize us creates a cycle of dependence that keeps codependent patterns alive.
Ways to self-regulate:
Grounding techniques: Try deep breathing, sensory-focused exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation to stay present.
Journaling: Writing about your feelings can help you process them independently, rather than seeking external validation.
Physical activity: Go for a walk, practice yoga, or do something active to release pent-up emotions.
Mindfulness: Practice staying in the moment with meditation or gratitude exercises to cultivate inner stability.
Breaking the Cycle of Codependency
Addressing codependency is a journey, and it takes time, self-compassion, and patience. By learning to create happiness from within, establishing boundaries, and managing your emotions, you can take steps toward healthier, more balanced relationships.
Looking for Support?
If codependency is affecting your relationships, Hello Calm offers individual therapy and couples counseling to help you navigate these challenges. Schedule an appointment through our Contact Us page to take the first step toward healthier connections.
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Ryan Greenwood, CPC, MA
Ryan is the founder and clinical director of Hello Calm. He graduated at the top of his class from Adams State University with a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, is a member of the American Counseling Association, and has a great passion for working with people to grow in the middle of their hardest moments. Ryan is a Henderson local, greatly loves the Golden Knights, traveling, and being outdoors. He and his wife have been happily married for 9 years.
