How To Suggest Someone Try Therapy…Without Sounding Like a Jerk.
Written by Ryan Greenwood
Imagine watching someone you care about struggle and not knowing how to help.
You see the heaviness. You want them to feel lighter. But you also don’t want them to feel that you are judging them in their struggles.
Here’s the good news: you can bring up therapy in a way that feels respectful.
Why Just Saying “You Need Therapy” Doesn’t Help
Telling someone they “need therapy” usually lands like:
A judgment
A correction
A dismissal of their feelings
A sign you’re done listening
Basically, the opposite of what you’re going for if you want to help them.
So what do you do instead?
Ask — Don’t Tell
Let’s repeat that again. Ask them - Don’t Tell Them!
It should never be your job to tell someone to go to therapy. Instead, ask them if therapy is something they are open to considering.
Not this:
“You should go to therapy.”
“You should really talk to someone about that.”
This:
“Would you ever consider talking to a therapist?”
“Have you ever thought about talking to a professional?”
Why this works:
Asking is invitational
Telling is pressuring and judgmental
People open up when they feel respected, not corrected. And asking often leads them to share what’s actually in the way:
“I tried once, and it went badly.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start in looking for the right person.”
“It feels overwhelming to start.”
2. Share Your Own Experience (If You Have One)
Therapy feels much less intimidating when someone they trust says, “Hey, I’ve tried this before.”
You can keep it simple:
“Talking to a therapist helped me sort out things I didn’t even realize were weighing me down.”
“I felt clearer after a few sessions.”
“It gave me a space to figure things out for myself.”
Ultimately, this does three things:
Normalizes therapy
Removes stigma
Builds connection rather than setting up unhelpful power dynamics.
They hear: “This is something regular people do.”
3. Offer something concrete — not a scavenger hunt
Overwhelmed people do not want homework.
Giving them a specific therapist, practice, or easy link can make the difference between “I’ll look into it someday…” and “Okay, I think I’ll actually give this a shot.”\
Helpful examples:
“Here’s a practice I trust if you ever want to check it out.”
“This place makes starting really simple.”
“I know someone who works in mental health. If you’d like, you can give them a call.”
Your job isn’t to tell them what to do — just to helpfully remove obstacles.
4. Make therapy an option, not an assignment
A gentle line that keeps them in the driver’s seat:
“If you ever want to talk to someone, I can try to help point you in the right direction.”
This communicates:
Autonomy
Respect
Zero pressure
They get to choose the pace at which they move forward.
5. Let them take the next step (or not)
Once you bring it up:
Don’t push
Don’t repeat the suggestion
Don’t follow up with a clipboard
Don’t monitor them like a Fitbit
You opened the door. Now they get to choose when they walk into it. People move toward help when they feel safe, not cornered.
You Don’t Have to Fix Them to Support Them
Watching someone struggle is brutal, but supporting them doesn’t require solving their life.
It’s simply saying:
“I care about you.”
“You don’t have to carry this alone.”
“There’s help if you want it.”
Suggesting therapy the right way is about opening a door, not shoving someone through it.
And remember:
You don’t have to solve everything for them. Just being there, steady and caring, is often what helps someone take their next step.
Ryan Greenwood, CPC, MA
Ryan is the founder and clinical director of Hello Calm. He graduated at the top of his class from Adams State University with a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, is a member of the American Counseling Association, and has a great passion for working with people to grow in the middle of their hardest moments. Ryan is a Henderson local, greatly loves the Golden Knights, traveling, and being outdoors. He and his wife have been happily married for 11 years.
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