How to Properly Care for Other's Mental Health
Written by Ryan Greenwood
Supporting Someone Who Resists Mental Health Treatment
It’s one of the hardest things to watch: someone you care about struggling with their mental health but refusing to seek help. You see the pain, the confusion, the frustration, and you want nothing more than for them to find relief. But what can you do when they just aren’t ready or willing to take that step? The truth is, you have very limited control over the situation, but that doesn’t mean you’re powerless. You can share your thoughts and concerns in a way that’s compassionate and respectful, and perhaps, just perhaps, open a door for them to walk through when they’re ready.
Therapy Is a Personal Journey: Timing Is Everything
The decision to seek therapy is deeply personal. It’s not like deciding to take a cold medicine when you’ve got a runny nose. Therapy involves delving into the complexities of one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors—often confronting things that are uncomfortable or even painful. If someone begins this journey before they’re ready, it’s unlikely to be as effective as it could be.
Research supports this idea. A study published in Psychological Services (2016) found that clients who felt coerced into therapy (whether by family, the legal system, or other external pressures) often showed lower levels of engagement and poorer outcomes than those who entered therapy voluntarily. Therapy is most successful when the individual is open and willing to explore their inner world. It’s their journey, and they need to be ready to take it.
Understanding this can help you manage your expectations. You might see therapy as the obvious solution, but they may see it as a mountain they’re not ready to climb. Pressuring them or trying to “fix” them can backfire, leading to resistance rather than openness. Instead, approach the situation with patience, knowing that the timing must be right for them—not just for you.
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Share Your Concerns with Vulnerability: The Power of Being Open
One of the most effective ways to encourage someone to consider therapy is to share your concerns with vulnerability. When you speak from a place of honesty and openness about how their struggles are affecting you, it can create a powerful connection. Vulnerability isn’t about blaming or shaming them into action; it’s about expressing your care and concern in a way that is heartfelt and genuine.
For example, instead of saying, “You need help,” try something like, “I’m really worried about you, and it hurts me to see you going through this.” This approach shifts the focus from telling them what to do to sharing how you feel. Research from The Journal of Family Therapy (2017) indicates that emotional transparency can create a stronger bond between loved ones, which can sometimes lead to a greater willingness to seek help.
Your vulnerability might allow them to see their situation in a new light. When someone realizes that their pain is also affecting those they care about, it can sometimes be the nudge they need to consider therapy. However, it’s important to do this without making them feel guilty or responsible for your emotions. The goal is to create understanding and empathy, not to burden them further.
Accept Their Decision: Being There Without Judgment
As difficult as it is, you have to recognize that if they refuse treatment, it’s ultimately their choice. People have the right to decide what’s best for them, even if their decision seems detrimental. Accepting this doesn’t mean you agree with it, but it does mean respecting their autonomy.
Your role, then, shifts from trying to persuade them to get help to simply being there for them. This can be incredibly challenging—especially when you see someone in pain—but your support, free from judgment or pressure, is invaluable. A study in The Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology (2018) highlights the importance of social support in mental health, showing that having a non-judgmental and understanding network can improve overall well-being, even if the person isn’t actively seeking treatment.
Continue to be present in their life in a way that’s appropriate. Check in on them, spend time with them, and listen if they choose to talk. Your unconditional support may not be a substitute for professional help, but it can provide them with a sense of stability and care as they navigate their struggles.
Helping someone who refuses mental health treatment can feel like a delicate balancing act, but remember: your role is to support, not to control. Share your thoughts with care, be open about your feelings, and respect their autonomy while continuing to offer your presence. If you or someone you love is struggling with the complexities of mental health, schedule an appointment with Hello Therapy. We’re here to help, whenever the time is right. Contact Us today!
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Ryan Greenwood, CPC, MA
Ryan is the founder and clinical director of Hello Calm. He graduated at the top of his class from Adams State University with a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, is a member of the American Counseling Association, and has a great passion for working with people to grow in the middle of their hardest moments. Ryan is a Henderson local, greatly loves the Golden Knights, traveling, and being outdoors. He and his wife have been happily married for 9 years.
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