How to Tell if You are a “Good Parent”
Written by Ryan Greenwood
How to Tell if You are a “Good Parent”
Spoiler: Perfect Parents Don’t Exist!
Parenting is one of the most challenging, rewarding, and ever-evolving roles we take on in life. While there’s no such thing as the “perfect parent,” there are key practices that foster a healthy, loving, and supportive family dynamic.
1. Creating an Emotionally Safe Space for Your Child
One of the most important factors in raising a healthy, well-adjusted child is creating an emotionally safe space for them to grow. Ask yourself: Does my child feel free to be themselves around me? Do they feel judged or shamed? Emotional safety is foundational to a strong parent-child connection. When children feel emotionally secure, they are more likely to open up, share their thoughts, and express their true selves without fear of criticism.
In contrast, a lack of emotional safety can cause children to withdraw, hide their feelings, or behave in ways that seek validation from others. For authentic connections to thrive, children need to know that they are loved for who they are, not for what they do. This means avoiding harsh judgment, shame, or excessive criticism. Instead, embrace moments of vulnerability and curiosity to understand who they are becoming.
2. Practicing Curiosity and Respect Instead of Judgment
It’s easy to react with frustration when children act out or misbehave. But one of the most powerful shifts in parenting is learning to default to curiosity instead of judgment. When a child is throwing a tantrum or breaking the rules, there are often deeper reasons for their behavior. They might be overwhelmed, hungry, tired, or struggling to articulate their feelings.
Instead of reacting with anger, try to approach the situation with a sense of curiosity: What is really going on here? By practicing patience and respect, we model how to handle difficult emotions and situations with grace. Remember, children are human too, and they deserve respect—even when they’re challenging us. A respectful, curious response can also strengthen your relationship and teach your child how to manage their emotions more effectively.
3. Owning Your Mistakes: The Power of a Genuine Apology
Nobody gets it right 100% of the time—not even parents. In fact, making mistakes is part of being human, and learning how to authentically apologize is a critical skill for maintaining healthy family dynamics. When things go wrong, owning up to your mistakes teaches your children valuable lessons about accountability and humility.
Apologizing to your child after losing your temper or making a wrong decision shows them that it’s okay to admit fault. It also reinforces that their feelings are valid and important. Authentic apologies foster trust and show your child that relationships are built on honesty and understanding, not perfection.
4. Taking Responsibility for Your Own Emotions
As parents, it’s easy to fall into the trap of expecting our children to help us feel better when we're stressed or frustrated. However, it’s essential to recognize that our emotional regulation is our responsibility, not our child’s. Children are still learning how to manage their own emotions; they shouldn’t be expected to handle the weight of ours.
By managing our own emotional responses, we teach our children emotional resilience and model healthy coping strategies. If we rely on them to make us feel better or act in ways that ease our frustration, we put undue pressure on them and shift the dynamic in an unhealthy way. Instead, parents can use tools like mindfulness, self-care, or talking to a therapist to deal with their own emotions, allowing children the freedom to be kids without bearing the emotional load of the household.
Final Thoughts
Perfect parenting doesn’t exist, but there are clear pathways to building a strong, loving family. By focusing on emotional safety, practicing curiosity and respect, taking responsibility for our own feelings, and owning our mistakes, we create a foundation of trust, love, and mutual growth. Parenting is an ongoing journey, and embracing these practices can make all the difference.
If you’re navigating the ups and downs of parenting and would like support, Hello Calm is here to help. Our compassionate therapists can provide guidance and tools to help you foster a healthy family dynamic. Schedule an appointment today and start building a stronger, happier family.
Ryan Greenwood, CPC, MA
Ryan is the founder and clinical director of Hello Calm. He graduated at the top of his class from Adams State University with a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, is a member of the American Counseling Association, and has a great passion for working with people to grow in the middle of their hardest moments. Ryan is a Henderson local, greatly loves the Golden Knights, traveling, and being outdoors. He and his wife have been happily married for 11 years.
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